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If the showbiz world raised an eyebrow back in 1999 when Sarah Jessica Parker was nominated for a Best Actress Emmy for HBO series Sex And The City, then they were positively spluttering into their cosmopolitans last month when that same show picked up the highest TV accolade at the 2002 emmy awards with a Best Direction award.

And for once, the controversy had nothing to do with the no-holds-barred raunchiness of the show, but rather more to do with the fact that in the USA, Sex And The City is only available as a cable show. In this country, the equivalent would be to watch a Sky One comedy show trouncing The Royle Family at the BAFTAs. Indeed, over the four years since it burst onto the screen, Sex And The City has constantly featured on the nominations list of every award show going: the show also picked up a Golden Globe for best comedy series this year, while Sarah Jessica carried off her second best actress gong.

All of this is, of course, testament to the fact that (in the States at least) the money being poured into non-terrestrial television is equal to the network budgets. That, and the fact that they can get away with so much more than their anodyne competitors. Oh, and that it helps that it's a damned good show.

That said, while everyone's getting on with the back-slapping, there's one cast-member who must be starting to wonder if she'll ever get to stand up on that podium and thank her agents and family. For while co-stars Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon and Kim Catrall have all received a nod from various academies at some point or another, 37-year-old Kristin Davis seems fated to a lifelong tenancy in the 'Always the bridesmaid, never the bride' corner of the hall of fame.

"Sure, I'd like to be nominated, it's always nice to be recognised," sighs Davis wearily. "If I'm honest, it mattered more the first time that I got left out, but it matters less each time it happens." Of course, if she's bitter about this exclusion, she's not about to show it: "But my feeling is this," she explains carefully. "When the show is nominated, I take it a a personal accomplishment. Because it's an ensemble show. If Sarah-Jessica is nominated, I take it as a compliment, all the more so when she wins." And it goes without saying that there's no shortage of support for Davis from the crew working on the show. "My writers are more upset about it than I am, actually," she laughs. "They're, like, 'Dammit, dammit, we've got to get Kristin on that stage' which is adorable and funny at the same time."

However well-adjusted to this she may sound, it's plain that Davis has devoted no small amount of time pondering just why she's constantly left out. "It's like 'Rainman syndrome', you know? Dustin Hoffman got all the attention for playing the exagerrated character, and yes, he was fantastic in that movie, but it totally eclipsed Tom Cruise's performance - which was one of his best, in my opinion. And if you think about it, there's a long list of truly great actors who never get nominated - John Cusack, for example. He gets overlooked too, and so often he's the centre of the film - yet it's the people around him who get nominated. David Duchovny never got nominated as often as Gillian Anderson, and I think that's pretty much the same thing. The fact is, it's the less-exaggerated characters that generally provide the greater challenge to the actor."

The point is a valid one. While her Sex And The City co-stars all get to enjoy racy dialogue and raunchy scenes, Kristin's character Charlotte is the quiet, sensible, prudish one. The one who thinks about marriage more than sex, who constantly blushes at Samantha's sluttish revelations in those brunch scenes, and who - how can we put this kindly - is perhaps a little dull in comparison with her less uptight cohorts.

That said, and as Davis is quick to point out, Charlotte isn't entirely boring, far from it. "I kind of feel that I'm the 'straight man' in the show. It's very rare that I tell a joke in the show - more usually, I provide the reaction to the jokes. And I think when it comes to awards they don't really notice those kind of roles. But I'm not complaining, because when I do get to deliver a joke, the impact is that much stronger. Which," she adds with an impish smile, "is wonderful."

That impact was shown superbly in the most recent series of the show when Charlotte (again, over the brunch table) revealed to her gobsmacked friends that she was more than a little partial to a spot of tongue-up bum action. But that was Charlotte, not Kristin, obviously. Remind the actress of the scene and she immediately hides her face in absolute horror. "Oh, the 'rimming' scene? That's horrible, that's horrible! That scene was very stressful," she squeals, genuinely mortified. "We can't talk about that, we are not going to talk about that. Strike that word out of this interview!" She's smiling, but it's clear that the embarrassment is only too real. "Isn't that funny?" she adds. "I was recently asked if I ever got embarrassed by the material in the show, and I could not think of an example, but that would be the prime one. I'd just blotted that out of my memory - completely blacked it out!"

The ongoing lack of awards on Davis' mantlepiece could of course fuel the already-existent rumours that all is not peace and harmony on the set of Sex And The City, with the actresses supposedly not talking to each other between takes. It's a notion that Davis greets with a loud "Pffft," and a roll of the eyes. "That's what the gutter press want from a female ensemble, isn't it?" she shrugs. "And it would only happen with an all-female cast. They don't even discuss whether, say, the Sopranos guys get on, do they? They don't look at male-led shows in the same way, and that's pretty sad really."

She shakes her head. "You know what? I think it's funny that they actually believe we could act that well - that we would be able cover up the fact that we didn't get on. I honestly don't think you can do that and get away with it. And certainly not on our show, you'd be able to tell a mile away that things weren't right. There's probably a layer of sexist thinking there, but it's also one of those things that goes with the success of the show. And let's face it," she adds philosphically, "if that's the worse they're going to throw at us, I can cope with that."

The other factor that differentiates Davis from her co-stars is, ironically enough, a complete upending of their respective character's situations. While Charlotte is the only character to be married, in real life Davis is the only cast-member not in a longerm relationship. "You know, that's probably the biggest difference between me and Charlotte," she says. "I have none of this 'gotta get married' thing, don't have that at all, it's not overwhelmingly important for me to have a child in the near future."

Having split up with Alec Baldwin last year, Davis remains single, although is perfectly clear about what she needs in a man, should the right one happen along. "They have to like my dog, Callie," she beams. "That's the deal-breaker. If they don't like the dog, or if they're in some way jealous of the attention she gets… That's it, they're out…" She frowns for a moment, thinking this one through. "You know, it's also really important they like Sex And The City too," she adds. "They could not be negative about the show, that would be a bad situation. And they can't be jealous of it either. The fact is, Sex And The City takes a lot of time and energy and it's a little hard to balance that with your personal life. There's so much work that goes with it… Like now, for example - I'm here doing press, and if I had a boyfriend right now, I'd have brought him to London with me, but he would lose me for a couple of days while I'm promoting the show. And he'd have to be OK with that."

So does this mean that the job will always come first? "I don't see it as a competition, no," she insists, "but I do feel so lucky to have this job. I enjoy it so much, and in truth I wouldn't want to be with someone who couldn't celebrate it with me. And trust me, that's not always as easy as it sounds."

• HBO
• Daily Mirror - http://www.mirror.co.uk/